Thursday, August 31, 2006

The Good, The Bad, and The ESPN

I have a love/hate relationship with ESPN, but I guess that's not unusual when you spend 18 hours a day with someone. So in no particular order, I present my list of things I love(d) and things I hate(d) about the original sports network.

Keith Olbermann and Dan PatricStewart Scott and Kenny Mayne(I just don't get that guy)
"It's deep and Idon'tthinkit'splayable!""Boo yah"
SportsCenter Ads with famous athletes and college mascots engaging in witty banter with ESPN personalitiesMilwaukee's Best Beer Ads featuring any man not expressing a Cro-Magnon thought being crushed by a giant can of beer
The sexy lady who does "World Series of Poker" voiceoversThe annoying man who does the SportsCenter voiceovers like "Brought to you by ..." He sounds like he's simultaneously smoking an entire pack of cigarettes and having his testicles crushed in a vice while chugging a beer. I have nightmares about this voice.
"The World Series of Poker""The World Series of Darts"
The intro music and graphics of "ESPN Original Entertainment"The content following the music and graphics of "ESPN Original Entertainment" that doesn't involve poker


the lair of the Evil DM said...

You ever watch "The contender"?
I love the fights. all the shuffling is edited and music is added.

Jeff Hebert said...

I haven't seen it, no. Boxing hasn't ever really appealed to me. I can understand its appeal -- it's very primal, very basic and instinctual, with clear goals. But I think that's also what turns me off -- it seems TOO basic. I think I need something beyond just "Smash the other guy's face in." Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the physical side of sports like football, but the violence is incidental to accomplishing some other, more complicated, objective. With boxing, violence IS the objective. There's not enough going on at once to keep my attention, but maybe I'm ADD :-)

Not that I condemn people who like boxing or anything, it's just not my thing, I reckon.

Denise said...

Hey... I like the Wild World of Darts. All that excitement as the British guy licks the pointed end of the dart, steels his eyes, holds his breath and then throws that dart at a cork board. Man, I have to have a Bud just to make it through to the next contestant. The intensity... the competition... the size of the bellies of those dart throwers.... Why this ranks right up there with "The Wild World of Checkers" and "The Boo-Ray Finals and Turducken Stuffing Competition." I mean, stuffing a chicken into a duck and then into a turkey through the appropriate openings. I might be female, but I know a good competition when I see it.

Jimmy Mac said...

Your mother says "There should be more BOWLING on TV!", but what his already there would be in the right-hand column (hate) for me - except for a trick shot championship I saw one time. That was very cool.
Now that football season has begun, ESPN should have no problem filling up their schedule with real sports. GEAUX TIGERS!

The Cow Whisperer said...

What possible appeal could there be in spectating poker??? ....unless it's from a seat at the table with a Royal Flush...

Jeff Hebert said...

Now that football season has begun, ESPN should have no problem filling up their schedule with real sports. GEAUX TIGERS!

Amen, brother. I hate this time of year, when all of the "real" sports are in hiatus and you are just begging for something sports-related to watch. I thoroughly enjoyed College Football kicking off yesterday ... of course, it helped that UT crushed their opening day patsies. This coming Saturday is huge, with #1 Ohio State coming in.

What possible appeal could there be in spectating poker???

You know, I ask myself that question every time I'm parked in front of the TiVo watching poker. I need to write up a review of the various poker shows since I watch them all.

For me, I think it's watching people who are great at what they do -- how they think, how they act, their knowledge of the game ... Throw in the random element of the cards and the fact that amateurs or people out of shape (like me) could actually play on the same "field" as the best in the world and it's strangely compelling.

The "hole card cam" makes it infinitely more interesting, because you have inside knowledge that no one else at the table has. It makes you appreciate their talent even more and adds to the drama. It would be like knowing ahead of the play in football what each coach had called; it lets you appreciate their knowledge and foresight, to see when they guess right and when they guess wrong, when it's a bad call made to look good by a great play, or vice versa.

I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I find the psychological elements of televised poker absolutely fascinating.

Anonymous said...

I love watching poker that Daniel whatshisname, and that spoiled brat Helmuth and the Lebanese guy Deeb. How about that other Lebanese guy from Australia...Joe Hachem....other than bowling, it's a great sport...Mom