Thursday, March 08, 2007

Hung Like a Horse?


It's not the size of the pasture ...
So when our lesbian equine dentist was out here yesterday cleaning our horse Milagro's phallic sheath, she commented that perhaps his grumpy disposition was due to his abnormally small penis.

And that may be the Greatest Sentence Ever on this blog.

She's not the first one to comment on Milagro's lack of endowment. Even our miniature donkey, Sparky, has more to boast about in that department, which considering he's only about two feet tall must be humiliating. Milagro certainly acts like a creature who's overcompensating, so I suspect he's aware of it. He charges around the barnyard, snorting and stomping at the other animals. They seem to almost chuckle as they move just far enough to let him think they've been bullied -- I think they're trying to make him feel better about himself.

Plus he's always saying things like "It's not the size of the pasture, it's the quality of the oats!" I don't think any of the other animals are buying that at all.

I would bet that before long we'll see Milagro cruising around the back forty in a cherry red Corvette, with a hip new hairstyle and enormous speakers, belting out high-bass rap songs that really, between the lines, all say the same thing:

"I'm hung like a horse, baby!"

The trouble is, in Milagro's case that's not a good thing ...

4 comments:

annie'sbuddie said...

I thought you said this was an equine DENTIST...sounds like she's got her specialty confused. Milagro's probably just withdrawing in fear of what kind of tool she may be about to pull out of her tool bag.

John said...

This may be the greatest post ever. In how many other blogs does one read the term "phallic sheath"? None of which I am aware, that's for sure...

Jeff Hebert said...

Two very funny comments, thanks guys!

Anonymous said...

I'm not computer savy. 65 year old granny from Tex. Wanted to say I like your site. I'm having a ball writing a book about "The Rodeo Dance" through the eyes of a young girl. Two rules 1-Hand to butt 2-Crotch to crotch. Looking up all the old songs has been great fun.