Hung Like a Horse?

It's not the size of the pasture ...

So when our lesbian equine dentist was out here yesterday cleaning our horse Milagro's phallic sheath, she commented that perhaps his grumpy disposition was due to his abnormally small penis.

And that may be the Greatest Sentence Ever on this blog.

She's not the first one to comment on Milagro's lack of endowment. Even our miniature donkey, Sparky, has more to boast about in that department, which considering he's only about two feet tall must be humiliating. Milagro certainly acts like a creature who's overcompensating, so I suspect he's aware of it. He charges around the barnyard, snorting and stomping at the other animals. They seem to almost chuckle as they move just far enough to let him think they've been bullied -- I think they're trying to make him feel better about himself.

Plus he's always saying things like "It's not the size of the pasture, it's the quality of the oats!" I don't think any of the other animals are buying that at all.

I would bet that before long we'll see Milagro cruising around the back forty in a cherry red Corvette, with a hip new hairstyle and enormous speakers, belting out high-bass rap songs that really, between the lines, all say the same thing:

"I'm hung like a horse, baby!"

The trouble is, in Milagro's case that's not a good thing ...