Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Not THOSE Wrinkles!!

My parents were in the middle of one of their separations, and Dad had moved out to the middle of nowhere in a trailer. He was surrounded by woods and had a creek running along the back of the property. It was very secluded and peaceful, but isolated.

One day my mom and two of my sisters went to visit him to make sure he was all right. On the way in, they noticed that there was an ironing board outside on the porch, an unusual placement to be sure. While they were chatting, one of my sisters thought to ask him about it.

"Hey Dad," she said, "why is your ironing board outside?"

Now it's very important that you remember the question. The question again is, "WHY is your ironing board OUTSIDE?"

To which my father replied, "Because, sometimes I like to iron in the nude."

::blink::

WHA WHA WHA WHA WHAAAAAAAT?!

So, the question is, "WHY is the ironing board OUTSIDE?" and the answer is "BECAUSE, sometimes I like to iron in the nude", as if, were one going to iron naked, outside is the only place one could possibly do so. God forbid you iron naked INSIDE, where you're private, oh no! THAT would be WEIRD, what are you, some kind of pervert? No no, my friend, when it comes time for old-man-ironing-naked, there's only one spot for it and that, clearly, is out on the front porch.

Geez, some people. Next thing you know someone might even question the wisdom of an older man with all of the attendant wrinklages and vulnerable body parts standing around naked holding a scalding hot hunk of metal in the first place, and then where would we be? Communist Russia, that's where!

7 comments:

Denise said...

Mea culpa! I am the one who walked right into that question, just like a fish that takes the bait, hook, line and sinker. He said it like everybody irons in the nude. Geesh.

Don't forget -- when all the electricity went out from a storm and there was no running water, Dad bathed in the driveway, using the water that collected in a shell hollow. I thought it was creative, considering the circumstances. My sister, Diane, looked at me and said, "The man bathes in the driveway and irons in the nude and YOU think that's normal?!!" I still laugh and cringe every time I think about those two events!!

annie'sbuddie said...

Actually the only thing about this that struck me as unusual was that your dad HAD an ironing board.

What's a shell hollow?

Did he ever mention "air baths"?

Denise said...

Okay, I will reveal our Cajun roots here -- My dad had created a driveway with a shipment of crushed oyster shells. In reality, it makes a nice driveway out in the country, and that's where he lived. Over time, a rut, or indention, was created in a few spots from the tires. It was in one of these indentions where bathed. So I guess you could call it a "Coon-Ass Bathtub," for lack of a better description!! He never mentioned air baths, but my sons believe in them 100 percent!

Jeff Berthelot said...

What a great story! I knew your dad but I didn't know this story. Sounds like he liked to improvise, huh? Why let a little inconvenience get in the way right?
Great story and I enjoyed it!

Jeff Hebert said...

Well Jeff Berthalot as I live and breathe! Good to see you, sir, thanks for stopping by. Glad you liked the story!

Adam H said...

Whoa Jeff Berthelot! hope all is well with you.

I love this story! heard it many times and it never ceases to amaze me.

The Cow Whisperer said...

Ah, confirmation to my prayers that we are doing the right thing by moving out to 20 secluded acres....

(I think we all know the reason for doing that outside. The breeze. Duh.)