Friday, March 10, 2006


My wife Annie is one of the smartest, funniest, most caring people I've ever known. She founded what would eventually become a multi-million-dollar business, helped authors achieve international fame, and keeps our place running like clockwork.

She has never, however, met a phrase she couldn't mangle. Mrs. Malaprop's got nothin' on Annie. Instead of "Six of one, half-dozen of another" we get "Six of one, twelve dozen of another." So I thought every now and then I'd share a little bit of "Annie's Words of Wisdom" with you.

Our neighbors had gone out of town for a week or two, and their Spanish-speaking maid was taking care of their horses and house. Because Annie lived in Spain for a while and speaks Spanish well, we're the ones she calls if anything goes awry. So one evening she called and told Annie that one of the horses might be hurt, could we come over to take a look?

We hopped in the truck and discovered one of their most gorgeous and expensive horses, a black Friesian, had gotten her legs caught up in the stall gate at feeding time and scraped herself up pretty good.

In discussing what had happened, Annie tried to say in Spansish that she loved the black horse. But what she actually said was:

"I love the black cowboys."

The maid's look was, frankly, astonished. I'm not sure if she thought Annie wanted her to go round up some hot black cowboy stud in payment of her pseudo-vet services or what, but our visit concluded very quickly after that.

The poor thing still hasn't called us back in the weeks since. I can only imagine what she thinks of us and our crazy Americano hedonistic ways.


annie'sbuddie said...

and she's got a few of her own that I've learned in the short time we've known each other & I've made good use of them

TexasAnnie said...

I knew this blog entry would come one day. Sad thing is that I have said so many dumb things that it must have been hard for Jeff to choose. One of my other "famous" recent sayings include saying this to a girlfriend -- "I can't wait until we have sex!" When I meant to say about our house under construction: "I can't wait til we have STAIRS." She ws cool and responded with, "well, you'll have to wait a long time for me!"

DEBRA said...

I LAUGHED SO HARD I CRIED Reading this. It sounds like something that would be in a movie. Carly thought I lost my mind. Annie we love you so much!!!

annie'sbuddie said...

So I sat in on a Spanish class at work today because our company has started working for a lot of Spanish speaking clients & has hired an instructor to teach lunch & learn sessions twice a week. This class has been going on for months and a new one starts next week so I wanted to see which might be more suitable for me since I studied Spanish for a lot of years in school...but that was a lot of years ago.

We were watching an Argentine television drama on video which the instructor stopped at different times to explain or review phrases & words.

For some reason, someone asked how to say "horse". I knew so replied "caballo" and when they asked about "cowboy", I said "caballero" then started laughing out loud. Amidst the stares I said I'd explain later.

The instructor went on to correct me by saying that "vaquero (or gaucho)" was "cowboy" and that "caballero" meant "gentleman" so that just goes to show what a classy gal Annie really is!

Jeff Hebert said...

Glad to know at least she loves cowboys with class, thanks for passing that along!

Jill Phenix Avila said...

Annie and I were at a Cow Working clinic with our horses this time last year up in Goldthwaite, TX. The Noey side of our family (mine and Annie's Grandmother's maiden name) married into the Godwin family in Comanche which is only 30 minutes north of Goldthwaite.. well we had had a long day riding our ponies and chasing cows so we(Annie, myself and the other riders) sat down to a well deserved dinner at the local hole in the wall diner. I mentioned that we had family from that area and Annie proclaimed with pride that yes, "we might have family here that are relatives". everyone just blinked trying to figure out what was just said while I was laughing my boots off!! THEN!! we were all talking about moving cows.. just for you city slickers.. you can move a cow in many ways but to make them go in the direction you want you have to turn their cute slimy cow noses to that direction. Well Annie once again piped up very proudly and said something about moving the "cow beaks" toward something blah blah.. I don't remember the rest because I was on the floor laughing this time. She actually said we had to move the cow beaks so the entire next day we razzed her about cow beaks... it’s hard being Annie’s translator but someone has to do it.. in my opinion she is a genius that thinks faster than she can speak.