Annie-isms

My wife Annie is one of the smartest, funniest, most caring people I've ever known. She founded what would eventually become a multi-million-dollar business, helped authors achieve international fame, and keeps our place running like clockwork.

She has never, however, met a phrase she couldn't mangle. Mrs. Malaprop's got nothin' on Annie. Instead of "Six of one, half-dozen of another" we get "Six of one, twelve dozen of another." So I thought every now and then I'd share a little bit of "Annie's Words of Wisdom" with you.

Our neighbors had gone out of town for a week or two, and their Spanish-speaking maid was taking care of their horses and house. Because Annie lived in Spain for a while and speaks Spanish well, we're the ones she calls if anything goes awry. So one evening she called and told Annie that one of the horses might be hurt, could we come over to take a look?

We hopped in the truck and discovered one of their most gorgeous and expensive horses, a black Friesian, had gotten her legs caught up in the stall gate at feeding time and scraped herself up pretty good.

In discussing what had happened, Annie tried to say in Spansish that she loved the black horse. But what she actually said was:

"I love the black cowboys."

The maid's look was, frankly, astonished. I'm not sure if she thought Annie wanted her to go round up some hot black cowboy stud in payment of her pseudo-vet services or what, but our visit concluded very quickly after that.

The poor thing still hasn't called us back in the weeks since. I can only imagine what she thinks of us and our crazy Americano hedonistic ways.