Saturday, March 04, 2006

Shaken, Not Stirred

In my ongoing quest to acquire experience with as much Bubba tech as possible to compare it with the Nerd tech I am more familiar with, this weekend I have rented a Bobcat with pneumatic shears which slice through trees like butter. Like very hard, very tall, very heavy butter that will give you an allergic reaction or fall on you and crush you to death, whichever comes first.

But I digress. Let me just relate a few things I have learned about Bobcatting:

  1. Chopping down cedar trees when you are allergic to cedar trees is stupid.
  2. You can chop down trees larger than the width of your shears if you are very patient and chop, charge in, chop some more, repeat.
  3. If you try to rip a tree out of the ground while it is still attached to the ground, you run a very high risk of flipping your Bobcat over.
  4. Like the comedian Bobcat Goldthwaite, a mechanical Bocat is also loud and irritating and will make you deaf if you are around it too long (or in the case of Goldthwaite, will make you WISH you were deaf)
  5. We have a lot of f'ing cedar trees on our property.
After a full 8 hours of getting shaken, beaten, greased on, almost killed by flipping machinery, shedding black tears from pollen inundating every orifice I own, and tearing giant chunks of pasture up with hardened, puncture-proof tires, all I can say is this:

Bubba tech is cool.


Denise said...

Now you know what PMS feels like. Sounds like a very satisfying, venting day, bro!!

Jimmy said...

Way to go, Bubba!
Sounds like a manly, country weekend.
The Cedars may have fought back, but the victory was clear, decisive and YOURS.
The whispering winds will spread word of your conquest, and cedars far and wide will forever shake at the mere mention of your name.

Denise said...