I moved to Texas when I was 18 to go to college, and since I am now 36 that means I have been here ... hang on, doing math ... ummm .. let's see, carry the two ... 18 years! In other words I've been in Texas just as long as I was not in Texas. Does that make me a Texan? Let me see, I think I have my official State Registration Application here somewhere ... ah! Here we go, let me just fill this out here:
- Do you own a truck?
Heck yeah, two of 'em. - Do you have animals with hooves living on your property?
Try ten of 'em. - Do you own a cowboy hat and have you ever worn it someplace other than a mall?
You're allowed to wear your cowboy hat to the stinkin' MALL?! That's an outrage! - Do you own a firearm and have you ever discharged it -- on purpose?
Damn skippy I do and yes I have. - Did you hit anything with it that wasn't another hunter?
Do I LOOK like Dick Cheney? - All right then smart-ass, what did you hit?
I've killed two rattlers and a rabbit. OK, granted, the rabbit had been hit by a car and I was just putting it out of its misery. And it took me four shots to finally hit it while it laid there already half-dead. I didn't say I was a good shot, I just said I've shot! - Have you ever ridden a horse?
Yes, several times. I even own saddles! - Did you stay on?
I stayed on, it was the horse that slid out from under me.
Welp, reckon I oughta send that sucker in, I'd sure like to be official. Like the bumper sticker says, I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could.
1 comment:
There are quite a few things you have to learn to be a Texan. One is learning Texas-isms. My favorite is, "That ole dog won't hunt." I have actually heard people say this one in conversation. "That there" is another one of my favorites as is "lissen here hoss," one my co-workers just love to use on a regular basis. You also have to learn how to spit accurately, how to love your mama, how to eat tamales (yes, you take the corn husk off, something I learned the chewy and hard way), that the Alamo is as sacred as Lourdes in France to Texans and you always fly the Texas flag higher than the American flag. I believe Texas is the only state in the nation with that "in your face" law. Seriously!
Loved your answers, Jeff!!
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