Saturday, August 11, 2007

Top Ten Things World of Warcraft Can Teach You About Life

Many people decry games like "World of Warcraft" as vast, bloated time sinks that suck away the lives and personalities of its subscribers, giving nothing of value in return.

Not unlike America's political parties!

But seriously. I think these people are wrong, and as evidence I present the "Top Ten Things World of Warcraft Can Teach You About Life":

10. No matter how much time, money, and energy you put into making something, there's no guarantee anyone will want to buy it.

9. Hot girls can dance to make money. Even if they're really guys.

8. Where you choose to make your home (whether a neighborhood or a server) can make a huge difference in how enjoyable your time is. Nothing's more frustrating than having to constantly wait on construction when all you want is to get home.

7. Some people are just plain ass-holes and there's not a lot you can do about it unless you have powerful friends. Preferably friends with really, really big swords.

6. If you want a sweet ride, you better save your money.

5. Short people have feelings too. Even gnomes. Probably.

4. You can go a lot farther if you have a group of friends watching your back.

3. I've been rich, and I've been poor, and believe me -- rich is better.

2. That fancy, over-engineered mechanical gizmo might look neat and cost a fortune, but odds are it'll let you down when you need it most. Sometimes the simple, reliable things are better.

1. You might think of The Other Side as absolutely evil, soulless, cowardly scumbags with no heart ... until you actually step into their shoes and experience the world from their point of view, understanding their history and outlook. Don't be surprised if "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" are interchangeable labels sometimes.


Norm said...

9. Hot girls can dance to make money. Even if they're really guys.

WoW sounds a bit like Second Life... but with more killing. :-)

SL just introduced this voice feature allowing the avatars to talk by way of a headset and microphone. I'm suspicious that so few* of the "entertainers" have opted not to use the technology. Maybe because they're all baritones?

* Based on my very unscientific, anecdotal research, of course.

Adam H said...

this list was fantastic! i actually put a freeze on my account just a couple days ago for financial reasons, but i think i'll be cancelling it altogether soon. it really does just take up too much time, and my internet connection isn't the best.

John said...

As though it was meant to be: those wacky kooky funsters over at offer up none other than "World of Warcraft: A 12 Step Program." Something tells me you might identify with some of this.

And while you're at it, check out "Election '08: the 12 Worst Candidate Websites." A truly bi-partisan effort of critical analysis. I actually guffawed at some of these. Not just "laugh out loud," mind you. Guffawed.