On 'Burgurs and 'Horns

Here are a few thoughts after watching that nail-biting University of Texas Longhorns vs. Nebraska Cornhuskers game.

1. Texas isn't deserving of a Number 2 ranking. Of course there's zero chance of that happening anyway, if they keep playing like this.


2. In addition to having the most fitting name of any quarterback at any school in the country, Colt McCoy is very, very good.


3. Brent Musburgur's awfulness as a broadcaster has now reached such a nadir that he has achieved a black-hole-like level, actually sucking the life and talent from those around him. Twice during this game, Brent's director got sucked into the "eBrent Horizon" (defined as the level at which Musburgur's lack of talent completely overwhelms anyone's ability to resist it and nothing -- not even light -- can escape) and chose to cut away from a play that was in progress to focus on some inane crowd reaction shot! TWICE! I don't give a flying crap about how some running back's brother in the stands is reacting, I want to see the effing play being run. That would be why we have cameras pointed at the effing field! This crew seems intent on ignoring the fact that they are there to cover a sporting event. If they feel such lowbrow cultural phenomena as sports are beneath their lofty talent, I wish they'd quit already and go into the documentary business or wherever it is their hearts lie.


4. From the mouth of Mr. Musburgur I also gleaned two Impressive Bits of Football Arcana. First, getting lots of yards on first down is better than getting just a few. And second, the opposing team would prefer their adversary to face third and long every play. Thanks Brent, I don't know how I could have watched football all these years and not picked up on that. Luckily, you were there to plug the gaps.


5. Multiple layers of heavy winter clothing can make even a Nebraska coed look attractive. Thank goodness for snow.

The glow of joy over the win was blemished by two unfortunate things. First, Texas deserved to lose. Their pass defense and special teams were atrocious. Second, Brent Musburgur and his crack team of ABC Sports technicians are slated to broadcast the Big 12 Championship Game, which hopefully will include Texas. My best hope is that Brent's hideously ugly bright-pink-shirt-and-baby-yak-vomit-tie combination actually comes to life and chokes the voice out of him some time before then.