Hobbesian Friday: Out to Get Me Edition

Released on: Tuesday, May 6th 1986. Images copyright Bill Watterson and Universal Press Syndicate.

I'm told that when she was younger, my sister Diane had two lists: "People I Hate" and "People Who Hate Me". God and my brother Johnny were at the top of both lists. I'm pretty sure she's gotten over it at this point, but I always think of her when I read this strip.

My most enduring personal memory of my sister is of her dragging me out of bed at two in the morning when she was bored and wanted to play cards. The fact that I was sleeping and didn't want to play cards was irrelevant -- her usual victim roommate (my other sister) was out of town, thus I was volunteered.

Groggy, bleary, barely understanding the rules to "Battle" she taught me, I staggered through an hour of "play". Finally she laughed and told me she had played the same ace, the exact same card, seventeen times in a row. "I've been cheating the whole time and you didn't even notice!" she howled, hooting and pointing. She assumed I was an idiot, never even guessing that my true motivation was utter indifference to cards and an all-consuming desire to return to sleep.

Humiliated, abused, and cardless, I was finally permitted to go back to my bed, but the memory stuck.

I've got news for Calvin -- the person out to get him isn't God, it's my sister Diane. If he's lucky Hobbes will hide the cards before she gets to them ...