Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I'm a Simian

It will come as no shock to those who have known me for more than an hour or so that I am a Simian. I am referring, of course, to the lines in my palms.

Most people have two lines crossing their palms horizontally, a "head" line and a "heart" line. Approximately 4% of Caucasians have this line on at least one hand, according to HandAnalysis.com. Approximately 13% of all Asians have it on at least one hand.

I, of course, have it on both hands.

The condition is known as a "Simian Line". Combined with my excessive body hair, I think it's only fair to conclude that I am, in fact, a Bigfoot. I eagerly await my invitation to the mutant organization known as "The X-Men".

4 comments:

Jimmy Mac said...

Yes, you are a freak, but you are not alone. Randall is half Simian (just on one hand). Let's see if I remember any of my genetics class - his father is tall and thin with light hair & skin (and a highly developed brain) and his mother, while exceptionally gorgeous, is short, dark, and has a Bigfoot brother! I think I figured out where he got the "monkey hand."
Randall will quickly and proudly tell you that he's not a monkey, he's just monkey-like. It always makes me laugh.
Good post.

Geopoet said...

According to the site you linked - "People with Simian Lines generally live their life differently than most other people who do not have Simian Lines. Not necessarily living better nor worse. Just living more intensely with an undercurrent of uneasiness." Sounds like an astrology generalization - it applies to just about everybody.

Actually, a much more extensive study was done at the Hebert Institute of Collective Knowledge (HICK) that proves Simean features are a sign that the "Simean" has direct family siblings that are highly intelligent, good looking and well endowed (and in some cases, all three). This leads me to believe you must not be related to me.

Jeff Hebert said...

jimmy mac said:
Randall will quickly and proudly tell you that he's not a monkey, he's just monkey-like.

I love it! That Randall is a hoot. Even though he's a low-brow one-hander, we Bigfoots would definitely let him in the cave. Death to the two-lines-on-both-hands infidels, though!

geopoet said:
Actually, a much more extensive study was done at the Hebert Institute of Collective Knowledge (HICK) that proves Simean features are a sign that the "Simean" has direct family siblings that are highly intelligent, good looking and well endowed (and in some cases, all three). This leads me to believe you must not be related to me.

That made me laugh out loud!

Palm-Reader said...

Hello Jeff,

I am a psychologist from The Netherlands, and my father appears to have a simian line, my sister has a simian line, and regarding myself ... I have done some serious RESEARCH on the psychology / personality of people who have a simian line in one or both hands.

My research results indicate that the simian line is somehow related to an above average sensitivity to emotions (related to the Big Five dimension 'NEUROTICISM').

You can check out more details of my research results at:
Simian-related heartline & NEUROTICISM

Best wishes from The Netherlands,
Martijn
www.handresearch.com.