Saturday, September 09, 2006

Live Longhorn Blogging

I'm going to try something new, and blog during the Texas Longhorn - Ohio State Buckeye game. In theory this will be a running commentary I'm typing in as the game goes on. Given the pathetic speed of both my internet connection and my laptop, this could be a disaster.

Game Over. Very disappointing, obviously. This team has a lot of growing to do. But, the season's still young and anything can happen. If they run the table the rest of the season (with Oklahoma a big fat speed bump on that road) then it's certainly possible they could still play for the championship; stranger things have happened. But realistically, the best they can hoper for at this point is a BCS Bowl Game.

Ohio State is good, but I don't know if they're national championship good. Troy Smith, despite having the announcers crawling into his pants all night, was good but not unbelievable. Take away the 10 points Ohio State scored off of UT turnovers and UT wins.

But they DID turn the ball over those two times, and made too many other mistakes to boot. You can't give a good team like the Buckeyes that many chances, they'll crush you.

This is the curse of TiVo. Now I have this crappy game on my machine, stinking up the hardware. I have to go delete it before it infects my recording of last year's Rose Bowl.

06:31 in the Fourth Quater: Ohio State touchdown. 24-7. Not looking good for the home team ... too many mistakes and Jim Tressel is too good at ball control. I can see that Texas hasn't figured out their identity yet. Last year it was "Keep it close and let Vince win it for us." This year I don't think they've realized yet that they need to be a power running ball-control team. Keep it on the ground and throw it just enough to keep the defense honest, and rely on your defense to keep the other team under control. Still seven minutes left but this is going to take a miracle. Or two.

12:18 left in the Fourth Quarter: That was the ugliest field goal attempt I have ever seen. If that field goal attempt were a house, it would be condemned it was so ugly. If that field goal attempt were a man, it would be illegal for it to be photographed it was so ugly. If that field goal attempt were ... ah hell, Selvin Young should've caught the damn pass before that and it would've at least been easier. Ugly and easy can win, just ask any redneck near closing time at a honkey tonk.

Start of the Fourth Quarter: I like the no-huddle! Get the guys out there moving the ball, being aggressive. Both teams have the same yardage so far, and yet all you've heard is how unbelievable Troy Smith is.

0:53 left in the Third Quarter: Another Texas mistake, this time a holding penalty on Third Down after making a first. Mistakes are killing us.

3rd Quarter Commercial Break-In:: The Detroit Shock have won the WNBA title. The WNBA is still in business?! That IS a shock!

04:19 left in the Third Quarter: Note to self: ask Brent Musberger, Kirk Herbstreet, and Bob Davies (yes, I am probably spelling those wrong) what Troy Smith's ass tastes like. They should know, as their lips have been kissing it the entire frigging night.

Beginning of Third Quarter: It took the entire halftime to reboot my stinking laptop. This thing needs to be converted into a coaster, that's all it's good for. Terrible start to the half for Texas, with McCoy throwing an interception, then failing to get a first down on the next series after a terrible swing pass to Selvin Young. We're KILLING these guys on the ground, frigging run the ball! If this keeps up, Austin fans will once again be howling for the blood of Greg Davis, our offensive coordinator.

Halftime: Ohio State 14, Texas 7. Both teams looked a bit rusty, but they were ahead of the broadcasters who by the sound of them were unaware there was a football going on in the very stadium they were sitting in until halfway through the second quarter. I learned about all the other games going on, I learned about fun duck-sponsored trivia, I got interminable trivia about the announcer's record as a defensive coordinator, but I got very little actual commentary on the action. I did, however, learn that Colt McCoy is not Vince Young. Not because Vince Young is Vince Young, like you'd think, but because apparently Troy Smith is Vince Young. Thanks for that keen insight, Brent Musberger.

Most surprising to me about the first half was how much room the UT defensive secondary was giving the Ohio State receivers. I also was surprised that UT went away from the run for much of the second quarter after decimating Ohio State on the ground. On the plus side, Texas' defensive players can tackle like nobody's business. That wasn't always the case, before Gene got here we practically needed a lasso to get anyone down.

Still a long half of football left to play, but this is going to be rough. Texas may only win by 50 now.

0:16 left in the first half: Damn! Long pass for a touchdown by Ohio State. Finally Troy Smith throws a TD pass to Ted Ginn Jr, which is surprising since the announcers were holding on to both their jock straps the entire half.

0:42 left in the first half: Ohio driving. Maybe someone should alert the Longhorns that new rule changes this year allow you to get closer than 10 yards to the man you are covering.

1:42 in the first half: Texas just scored! The personal foul call that gave UT a first down inside the ten was pretty pathetic, but I'll take it.

The broadcast team is a nightmare. Brent Musberger is one of the worst play by play men in the world ... people in Croatia probably write in to complain about the guy and they don't even have American football there! Best Musberger line of the first half: "what we have here is the Texas defense against the Ohio offense." Really? And here I thought maybe just for kicks the two defenses would go head to head. Idiot.


sharon said...

Hey, Your commentary is more live time than ABC and the current speed here in Never Never land is 30.kbps

annie'sbuddie said...

Yes Virginia, the WNBA is still alive and, for those of us who follow it, well and getting stronger as the NCAAW developes & graduates more outstanding women basketball players.
While the first 4 games of the championship series were blow-outs on each side, the final game was everything it should have been from the 2 top teams...and far more exciting than the Brutus v Bevo bash. Put that one in your pipe & smoke it!
And speaking of asses, what was that little butt-pat that the Texas coach gave to the referree early on...struck us as out of bounds.
But I did enjoy your commentary, especially regarding the announcers, since we watched sans audio.

Geopoet said...

Shoulda been listenin to LSU....!!! I have a solution to Brent Musberger - tell him that stomping on the "eye of the tiger" on LSU's field is a real tradition... right before LSU comes onto the field.