Fly Ass Dreads

While searching around for additional things to sell with our new body jewelry line at work, we came across this site that advertises:

Everything you need to start some fly ass dreads.

If I were to suggest to anyone within 30 miles of where I live that they could have "fly ass dreads" they'd look at me like I was nuts.

... you will be shocked at how quickly and easily you can turn innocent straight hair into nappy dread-breeding-masses of knottyness.

Wow, I haven't seen dread-breeding-masses since I graduated from high school.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could sprinkle some magic dust on your hair and it would just knot up easily when you started rubbing it?

If I had a dollar for everything on my body that knotted up easily when I started rubbing it ...

Non-Sticky, chemical free formula gets the job done without sticking to clothes, steering wheels, keyboards or anything else you might come in contact with while you're chillin' out and twistin' your dreads.

I am relatively sure -- no, make that absolutely sure -- that I do not want to imagine what else these folks "might come in contact with while ... chillin' out and twistin' ... dreads". Yikes.